LABYRINTHS - SEVENTEEN

                I agree that crying does have therapeutic effects. It relieves the soul... and envelopes one in a soothing half awareness that all injustice shall perforce be redressed, if not here then somewhere else. Like when we were kids and were bullied by our elder siblings, we cried and cried until our parents came home. Even if there were no more tears we kept going, because if daddy didn’t meet you crying you cried in vain. In this particular grown-up case, you’re aware that God is watching. Somehow I found renewed strength and I stood up and boisterously prepared to return to the hospital. One step at a time was my resolution; with one step at a time, I shall retrace my steps home.

                I would have called the hospital to know how far but I didn’t have Biola’s number, yet. And I didn’t want to call anyone to ask for it. Going through Abbey’s phonebook there was no Biola, though I knew Abbey must have the number. I saw nicknames that seemed like they’d be hers but I didn’t want to call the wrong person. I really wanted to find out if I should bring lunch. I decided that, if it was needed, I’d come back for it.

                There were a number of gas stations on the way to the hospital, I had to patronize one. I plotted my course and arrived at the hospital in less than thirty minutes.

Just outside the door to Abbey’s ward I couldn’t help listening to hear . . .

                “. . . He’s . . . he’s magical. More than ever... I want to live now, Bee... I want to stay alive...” Abbey’s voice.

                “Is he staying long?” Biola’s.

                “I’m gonna have to ask him... beg him if need be. He could relocate... he could... get a job here.”

                “You sure you want to do that?”

                “Anything wrong with it?”

It was ill breeding to be eavesdropping like that, so I withdrew and came noisily now to give the women the impression that I was just arriving and hadn’t been lingering at the door. I knocked, and opened, and people who were doctor and patient in reality, to me, were two women I... liked.

                “Hi,” I said, looking from one to the other.

                “Hello Iroko!” Biola.

Abbey just lay there, wearing an animated smile.

Biola was sitting on her bed, and my chair was vacant. Walking to it I said,

                “Are we still residents in this... this... hotel?”

                Biola chuckled. “Only for today.”

                “Only for today... means the whole of today? Again?”

                “Not the whole of today,” she said, still smiling, “She should be able to leave by dusk.”

                “That’s the greatest piece of news I’ve heard in a long time.”

I sat down and took Abbey’s arm. “How are you, baby?”

                “I’m fine,” she said emotively. “And I’m sorry to have been so much trouble.”

                “Oh no, c’mon... I can’t think of anything that will give me greater pleasure... than being there for you.”

                “Awwh... that’s so sweet...”

                “Um...” Biola cleared her throat, “Lemme leave you two to... catch up. Abigail, I should be ready to set you free soon.”

                “Okay. Thank you so much Bee,” Abbey said.

I said it! On Abbey’s phone I saw Doc Bee and said this must be Biola’s number.

                “Come to think of it... I’ve never even thought of the fact that your Abbey’s actually short for Abigail.”

                “Serious?” Abbey giggled.

                “Serious,” I affirmed.

                “See you chaps later,” Biola excused herself.

                “So... what’s up? How do ya feel?” I said.

                “I feel like crying.”

                “Crying? What... tears of joy?” I asked.

                “Nada... of pain... I don’t think I can help it when we get home. A lot will depend on you.”

                “Erm... could you be more explicit?”

                “Not now dear. What’s been going on? Has Isabelle really been here to see me?”

                “Of course! And I’m even expecting her to show up any minute.”

                “Does she know I’m awake?”

                “She does.”

                “Then she won’t come.”

                “Why... why do you say that?”

                “Remember we had a fight?”

                “What fight... that commotion of over a century ago?”

                “Whether it’s a millennium or not, apologies haven’t been tendered, so the cold war’s not over.”

                “Are you kidding me?”

                “I’m serious... we’re girls, remember! If it were you guys you’d forget it sooner, not us.”

                “That’s... amazing. So what happens now? She could come here to apologise?”

                “Not the Isabelle I know.”

                “You mean... sickness doesn’t wipe the animosity away?”

                “Isabelle’s gon reconcile with me in her own... special way. I wonder what it would be this time.”

                “So you guys always fight?”

                “Yes dear... It’s the spice of our friendship. She’s like... all I’ve got.”

                “But you have a brother!”

                “Him? I don’t even know if... when... when I’ll see him again.”

                “Don’t you have his... contact... his number or something?”

                “I don’t. He has mine, but hardly uses it.”

                “So Isabelle’s the closest person to you?”

                “Yeah... but it’s a bit scary now that you’re the subject of our tussle... the other day.”

                “Me? How?”       

                “Before now we fought over things we could both let go... for the sake of our friendship. One person left it for the other and, to reciprocate the gesture, the other left it too.”

                “Wow. I don’t exactly fit into that... that... those shoes...”

                “I’m so hungry,” she said, changing the subject.

                “Really? And I thought about bringing you lunch o.”

                “You made lunch?”

                “I would have... Come to think of it, you’ve been without food all these days? How is it you survived?”

                “Don’t you know anything?” she teased, “How can one survive without food?”

                “But you never woke up... not to talk of eat?”

                “Didn’t you see me wearing a mask-like... thing?”

                “Yeah, for oxygen!”

                “There’s the one for feeding, duh!”

                “Really?”

                “Mhmm, it’s called Nasogastric tube... in some way I was being fed via it.”

                “Amazing!”

                “Yeah. You’ve learnt something new today, huh! Stick wimme, you’ll learn a thing or too.” She chuckled.

                “Oh... you’re well enough to make humour abi? And to rap!”

                “How do you know I was rapping?”

                “How won’t I know, isn’t she my ... country girl? She’s even from my state.”

                “Kel’s from your state?”

                “Sure thang!”

                “That’s nice. Shee good!”

Silence.

                “You know, I’mma go find out if Biola could... maybe speed things up so we could leave.”

                “You can’t wait to get me home, right?”

                “You’re damn right I can’t.”

                “So you can bombard me with all the... questions in your head?”

                “Well... it’s true that I’ve got questions...”

                “Please Iroko, try to go easy on me... talking about this nauseates me. I know we’re gonna have to talk about it... but lemme be the one to bring it up... you know... when I’m strong enough to take on it?”

I was staring at her.

                “Abbey... just that we have no time... My ejection time...” I swallowed hard, “is come.”

Silence now... and stretching... until Biola comes in.

                “Excuse me... Abigail... the Chief’s here,” Biola said.

                “Okay, gimme a minute please.”

Biola leaves.

                “Iroko a chief is here to see me... could you wait in the reception?”

                “What chief’s that? Your colleague?”

                “A Chief Consultant. A gynaecologist. A prof.”

                “Oh, it’s your... chief... that got me confused. Okay then, I’ll see you soon.”

                “Sure...” she said, then added “darling.”

I stared at her for a while before leaving.

                At the reception I called Isabelle. She said something came up; that she mightn’t be able to make it to the hospital. She asked how Abbey was and I told her she was fine... that we might be going home today.

                Then I called Fina to say everything was progressing beautifully... that we might leave today before her shift... that if I forgot to call her when we did, this was to thank her immensely for all her kind help. She said it was her job. And I said she sure had a special way of doing it... of making everybody feel special. She suggested that even after the hospital episode I should still keep in touch. I will.

After the calls I sat gazing at the ceiling... knowing that my World Cup must end soon. If Abbey had any ideas... any suggestions... who said she couldn’t come to Nigeria! Or who said I couldn’t return to South Africa... later? Isabelle... well... Biola? Meet me at home! Fina, once I have a phone I’ll give you my number... and probably find out if you’re on the... network... too, so we could keep in touch. What else? Who else? I was ready to go home. And soon too.

                Chief is done.

Biola comes out.

Abbey’s discharged...

Everything blurs to this moment at home... at Abbey’s dining table. She’d gone to the fridge and brought out a bottle of champagne and popped it. I’d never even seen a champagne bottle before.

                “Abbey, is it advisable to start drinking just within hours of your discharge from the hospital?” I said.

                “Who cares...! I’m celebrating life... survival... I always keep one of these for times like this...” She was gazing into space and looking really distant. “You said you gotta go, so it’s not your business anymore whatever I do.”

She done talked herself into tears now, and she fell on the table and cried miserably for what I didn’t know.

I smooched and soother her, begging her even... to stop crying.

                “...Eyes filled with tears you can’t see what joys lie ahead. Stop it already, Abbey.”

                “Could you stay?” She looked up at me all of a sudden; “but not as my shrink anymore? Could you?”

                “As what, ma’am?”

                “As a friend... a lover... could you?”

                “That’s a whole new world... Are you in love with me?”

                “Miserably!” she said curtly.

                “Oh...” I was confused. “Erm... why didn’t you tell me when this was forming... so I’d be ware?”

                “’Cuz I liked it... Something about you the very day I met you held me hostage. I knew there was something we had to share. You look and feel very... familiar. These two weeks have been my best days in my twenty-nine years on this planet. It makes me want to live out my days, however few they may be... with you. It makes me hate my plight...”

                “What do you mean by all these?”

                “The ward where I was...? It’s like... mine... in that hospital. The chief had told me some time ago that it is likely going to be the room I die in. I’ve been there several times already in the last two years or so...”

                “But if you have... seizures... why do you stay alone? What if there’s an episode and there’s no one to help?”

                “I’ve had several people live with me. Whenever it happened like this, and the guys learnt about my health condition, they beat it. The last one eloped with my maid. Then Isabelle and I always had disputes over men and stuff. We couldn’t last very long under the same roof... but we do fine living apart. Sasha and Tanya have lived with me at different times. And then, my best company, Isabelle’s sister...”

                “Isabelle’s sister? She has a sister?”

                “Yeah... Lillian... But she and Sasha and Tanya are in school, so they can’t always be available.”

                “Now me... I’ve been added to the list, right?” I said.

                “...And, like never before, I wish you could stay with me till the end,” she said with teary eyes. “You’re my best.”

                “C’mon... don’t talk like that baby... you ain’t dying; don’t talk about the end like it’s just around the corner... Of course you’ll always get help.”

                “Will you always be my help?”

                “What’s the name of the... thing ... you’ve got?” I said, avoiding her question.

                “It’s a mouthful. It’s new they say. Rare... And it’s aggravated or... provoked rather... by excitement and high pitched, extreme emotions... especially those of a sexual nature.”

                “What... hold on, sex is... bad for you?”

                “That’s what chief told me. Said I should try and keep away from it. Or, if I couldn’t, I should have it with strangers and gigolos... those for whom I feel no emotional tension or excitement.”

I fought in vain to hold back mirth. And she laughed too, to my surprise.

                “Okay... so you’ve been doing that... and... um... sex with me wasn’t really harmful, right?”

                “Go away!” she rebuked me. Then she said “Iroko, I might have known you for only a short while, but you’re not a stranger to me. I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life the way I love you...”

                “Is that right?”

                “More than you can ever know.”

                “Then why didn’t you tell me? Why did you risk your life having sex with me?”

                “Because... I couldn’t hold back... The fire you ignited in me was too much to douse... that I didn’t mind if I died in your arms...”

                “And get me into trouble in South Africa...? Are you outta your fricking mind?!”

                “Oh dear, please don’t yell at me,” she sobbed, “I’m miserable enough as it is.”

                “...Now, isn’t misery an extreme emotion...? Aren’t you at risk?”

                “I can’t die before I die... I have to live my life until the end. God! I’m so scared...”

                “It is scary indeed. It is scary... Abbey,” I concurred. “Have you been abroad to... find a cure?”

                “The chief was my dad’s friend, and we met in the US. He practiced in a top level in the States for years before returning home. He did refer me to a former colleague of his, and I went, but what they saw there is what the chief had seen here... And his prognosis was even more valid and nerve-calming than theirs. Doctor Henry had suggested I stayed back in the States so he could monitor me but, for friendship’s sake, chief told me they simply wanted to use me as a specimen for their ambitious researches into the condition. He said I stood a better chance here at home... in the company of friends and loved ones.

Iroko?” she called me as if I hadn’t been listening.

                “Yeah,” I said with a throat that needed clearing.

                “The chief said love may prolong my life. Initially I didn’t believe him... But I do now. I love you Iroko, please stay with me.” She sobbed on plaintively.

                “Has it ever occurred to you Abbey girl, that... I might have a life at home? That I might have a home that needs going back to? I told you I came for the World Cup and got stuck under some circumstances... it doesn’t mean I’m here to stay. I have parents, siblings, friends... and I... I... have people who depend on me. There are people I need to be around for...”

                “And what you’re simply doing now is drawing a scale of preference, right?”

                “Don’t say that to me, Abbey. Don’t you say that to me! I care about you... and I told you so, but I’m from a real world; one not as privileged as yours.”

                “You call this... privilege? You call my proximity to the grave privilege?”

                “Erm... I didn’t mean it in that way. I’m just trying to say that we have to work out our bread every day. It isn’t stacked or piled up somewhere... like here. Every day we hit the streets... to pay our bills and take care of our loved ones. And, as you know, I didn’t come here with the intention of having fun. The money I’m working for has plenty uses waiting for it. I called home the other day, and my mom is worried sick... that my job could already be somebody else’s by now.

Abbey dear, your bosom, and indeed your plight, is drawing, but I need to go home and take care of those who took care of me. It’s the way of the world, and I don’t want to disappoint Nature; I don’t want to incur her wrath.”

                “Your story’s touching too, and I understand that you must go... but nothing will ever make me agree that it’s okay for you to leave me. So what... so I could die? I have to fight to stay alive, even though the odds are stacked high against me, I have to fight on. And if I see that my life is entwined with you I will cling on to you even against your wish, as I now do.”

                “Girl you making me sound like I’m a big, bad, wicked wolf... And who says you can’t come to Nigeria, anyway?”

                “Erm...,” she was startled by this new dimension... this new possibility, “erm... come visit or come live?”

                “The latter.”

                “Erm... well, I can’t work out a pension plan just yet... But it’s men that travel abroad to work. You can work here; earn good money and send back home... How ‘bout that?”

                “Well, that’s an angle... a vital angle. But whatever the case, you know I have to get home first. I don’t even have a resident visa... as it is I’m in this country illegally, and I could get into serious trouble...”

                “That can be fixed,” she said.

                “I know that, but I have to get home first. I have to return from the World Cup and, if I set out again, I’d say I’m travelling abroad... to work.”

She was looking at me with near swollen eyes, a smile under her tears. And it was like the scenario of a confused weather – showers of rain, and sunshine at the same time... then a faint rainbow at the top, left corner of the page. Her face wore the stillness of a morning after heavy rains, washed, serene, and green.

                “C’mon Abbey, cheer up. Life is beautiful... even up till the very minute before death. Have fun, be at peace with everyone. Be at peace with your soul. Be at peace with your maker; ask him to wave this ordeal away from you. He can do it if you ask him well.”

                “Will you help me ask him?” she said softly.

                “As a matter of fact, right now.”

I took her hands, and we did something we’d never done together before. We prayed.