LABYRINTHS - TWENTY

                After dinner later that night, I announced that I was tired and wanted to retire. Abbey appeared to have no problems with that. I said good night to her and went to my room. A few minutes later I heard a knock and... how many were we in this house... of course it was her. She came in and made herself comfortable on my bed and I got the impression that she wasn’t leaving soon.

                “I want to ask you...” she started, “Would you really blame me if I didn’t tell you my medical condition?”

                “Yes... because by so doing you endangered us both.”

                “I hate to compare you to the others, but you’re toeing the exact same line they did.”

                “Obviously. Anyone would toe the same line, because toeing a different one might be disastrous.”

                “Is that why you have been avoiding me since I told you?”

                “Hello? Avoiding you? Who ran off to work this morning in spite of my attempts to prevail on her to stay home and rest? Who just... wandered off with Isabelle now to go and gallivant about town...? Don’t speak to me about avoidance!”

                “You’re sounding like you’re jealous... But I left because I’d rather be miles away from you than to be in the same house with you and have to tolerate the... chasm you’ve created between us.”

                “I don’t get you... How can you say I created a chasm between us?”

                “You didn’t offer me soothing words to help me with the tough battle I’m facing. You don’t hold me anymore... you don’t cuddle me. You’ve not kissed me since I got back from the hospital... why? You’re treating me as if it’s AIDS I’ve got...”

                “I’m avoiding those because doing so might be injurious to your health.”

                “C’mon Iroko, don’t tell me your view on the relations of man and woman is this... limited.”

                “How do you mean?”

                “Your... philosophy... only seems to recognize relations based on... animal desire... but there’s a wide field of strong attachment where desire plays, at least, only a secondary part... There are several ways to share a good time... not just through sex!”

                “Well, much as I can’t say I understand what you mean, I’m acting the way I’m doing based on my knowledge of myself, and what I think I know of you. People who shouldn’t have sex shouldn’t kiss. And what’s more... then when I kissed you I was your shrink, but now, according to you – and a wise decision that is too – you don’t want my shrink services anymore...”

                “Look into my eyes Iroko,” she looked serious, “and tell me that all we had was just... just... work.”

I paused awhile. Then…

                “C’mon Abbey, I told you you’re special... and I wasn’t lying. Girl... I’m just scared and... confused... You know this is a new development... and a big one at that. I need time to assimilate all this. I came here with the intention of being your shrink and working with you, but right now I’m the one who’s being worked on. I need to breathe, Abbey, I need to. It is important that I do. I need to sort myself out. I need to check my feelings.”

                “Know what, I agree with you. And I got this for you.” She gave me an envelope.

I opened it and opened my mouth in shock; then I began to count the notes.

                “I don’t really know your... money... as in your currency here... but something tells me this is ten thousand Rands?”

                “That’s correct.”

                “What for?”

                “For you Iroko.”

                “For me? My money’s supposed to be just four grand... of which you’ve already given me one... so what... this is over a hundred percent excess. Don’t you know what you should do with money anymore?”

                “Trust me, I do. And one is fix my car for a start. But you would have gotten no more than four grand if all you did here was your shrink job.”

                “Did I do more... something I’m not aware of?”

                “Yes, you brought sunshine into our lives... Isabelle, Doctor Biola, Doctor Fina, Zuma... all have something beautiful to say about you. God! Even my secretary in the office says you’re nice.”

                “Okay... and it is your place, my dear girl, to reward people who are nice, huh?!”

                “Don’t see it as a reward, ‘cuz I could never reward you. See it as payment for your work. Perhaps you should begin to see yourself as more than a shrink... you sell sunshine... and I’ve bought some for all these people I just mentioned. For me, I want to keep the source – if I could. Believe me, you did much more than you can imagine in such a short time.”

                “Wow... that’s... that’s ennobling. But Abbey girl, you might want to reconsider this. When I’ll be gone it wouldn’t feel the same way... especially as there’s no guarantee that I shall return... And you’ll seem to find you fell prey to the antics of a con man who breezed by your life... Don’t do something you’ll regret later.”

                “I will never regret this past two weeks for as long as I breathe. Even if you’re the devil... I love you dearly, and I’m not ashamed to say it.”

                My rejecting the money was no pretence... my refusal was genuine, because... something like I didn’t want Abbey to commit me any further. Of course I needed the money... for Teresa, for my folks, for my sibs... for Kate; and to even hang on when I found I’d lost my job. I didn’t want to take more than I bargained for. But Abbey’s persistence was unbeatable, so I claimed the fat envelope from the bed.

I kissed her on the temple.

                “You’re magical Abbey... I’ve been asking myself a question since these days... ‘Hope these aren’t the last days of my life?’... ‘cuz if the best parts ... if being in the company of the epitome of sublime womanhood is served me this early on ... if I’ve seen what men eighty haven’t yet seen... I hope I’m still gonna live to eighty.”

                Abbey smiled. “You do have a way with words. You say the most beautiful things.”

                “If you go to a beautiful beach you know what it does to your senses, that you bless it unaware... if you chat with a captivating woman... you know what it does to your mind? It sets it aglow with gestures and words that attempt to sing her praise...”

                “Say no more, Iroko,” she said, “just hold me.”

I gathered her into my arms and held tight... Even I had missed this. I could feel her heartbeat, and it beat faster than mine. I hoped all was well now.

                The sensitivity of the situation endeared us further. It is true that... when love begins to set in, carnality begins to retreat to the rear. At that point when you can hug a woman and not really feel her breasts rubbing against you... and not imagine how close your crotches are and how close you are to penetration... and not run your hands all over her back down to the fleshy mounds above her legs... at that point you’ve transcended a realm; you’ve either come to really love that woman, or come to be indifferent about her femaleness.

In my case it couldn’t be indifference... the former was more likely to be the case. Abbey and I slept in my room, on my bed, till dawn. We slept in each other’s embrace... and woke up so.

This wasn’t enough, though, to be a foretaste of matrimony. It lacked the essentials of a connubial night – the talk and the sexual conjugation. The talk about the children – who had been born or who were to be; the quarrels; the fights; the coldness... Or the reconciliation; the kisses and the re-professions of love and commitment. The matrimonial bed is a drama-set infinitely more palpitating than most other aspects of life. What couples do there reverberate through history and constitute the tumultuous noise that emanates from the planet as it plots its course through space. Two people necking there in 1888 or ’89 in Braunau am Inn, Austria-Hungary, may have been fighting through it... to produce Hitler... who was involved, arguably, in the loudest war noises ever heard. And when the two who produced Bin Laden went in, someone should have told them to use a condom. Or maybe they should have just held each other and slept... the way Abbey and I did, for nobody ever really knows the full consequences of releasing semen into a woman’s vaginal track.

                I wanted to sneak out of bed without waking her, but how could I succeed when she lay atop my arm! She caught me and asked where I was going.

                “To say my prayers,” I said.

Then she didn’t say anything, she just got out of bed and knelt down... with sleepy eyes.

                “I didn’t want to wake you because you need this rest...” I said.

                “Let’s pray then I’ll go back to sleep.”

We did; after which I tucked her back in and went to wash up. In my mind I said those prayers I couldn’t say when we were two... as in, I spoke to God in a language only He and I understood.

LABYRINTHS - NINETEEN

                In the morning it was Abbey’s knock woke me up. I came out to see her all dressed.

                “Where are you going?” I said with sleepy eyes.

                “Where else... work of course!”

                “What do you mean work of course?”

                “Have you forgotten that I work?”

                “In case you need reminding you just came back from the hospital what... hours ago...? And now you’re going to work?”

                “Mhmm!”

                “Ever heard of the word REST?”

                “Yeah, I have; but I will rest over the weekend.”

                “No way,” I said. “You go nowhere!”

                “Oh c’mon Iroko, this is how it always goes. Rest doesn’t exactly help. Once I’m out of the hospital I resume my work like normal the very next day... I don’t feel pains or anything... And it’s not like I need to recuperate...”

                “Are you serious?”

                “Yeah. And if I miss today, means I’ve missed the entire week... because Friday’s a public holiday. And there be some folks out there who can’t wait for me to finally die so the party for them can begin.”

                “Nothing I can do to stop you?”

                “Of course you can stop me, but I’m begging you not to. I’ll take care of myself and then I’ll rest tomorrow all through to Sunday. Besides, I’ll be back earlier than usual.”

                “Okay... You go if you must.” When she tried to turn away I added, “You might wanna know that… I’ve fixed a date for my trip.”

She turned back around. “When?”

                “I start working on the papers Monday... It shouldn’t take long. As soon as it’s done... Tuesday... Maybe Wednesday.”

She hugged me tautly all of a sudden, and then ran out of the house holding back emotions.

I didn’t know what to make of that.

The next thing I heard was the ignition of the S-Class and then a heavy thud. I rushed out to look and found that she’d rammed into the gatehouse while trying to reverse. The rear chassis of the car severely dented. I told her to come back inside and stay home, that she wasn’t fit yet to drive. She said true, that she wasn’t fit to drive, and threw the car key at me and ran out of the gate... Apparently, it was to catch a cab.

Zuma and I took care of the mess as best we could.

                In the evening Isabelle came over with her sister... and, as it later appeared, with what she’d been up to at the printing press.

Well, I had to leave them in the sitting room; Abbey and Isabelle had some making up to do, and Lillian was silent and I thought I shouldn’t bother her.

                “You guys have some making up to do,” I said and left for my room.

                Much later I heard a knock; opening, I saw both women beaming. Isabelle handed me a tiny card – Invitation to Abbey’s Survival Party at Isabelle’s Place.

                “Come to think of it, we’ve never seen you boogie!” Isabelle said.

I laughed. “Was this a surprise to you, Abbey?” I asked her.

                “Yes, it was. I told you this girl is so... improvising.” She hit Isabelle on the arm playfully.

                “Isn’t a party... excitement? Doesn’t it put you at risk?” I asked.

                “It couldn’t... I party... nothing happens. Nothing can get into me and stir me to... ecstasy.”

I cast a look at Isabelle... to let her know I’d heard about Abbey’s disease. If, perhaps, there was something more...

                “It’s tomorrow?” I asked.

                “Yes.”

                “Of course I’ll be there.”

                “Great!” Isabelle screamed. And both girls hugged me gleefully, and dashed back to the sitting room to continue strategizing for the event. I sensed oozing from their high spirits the bliss of fresh reconciliation... of girl friends who had missed each other.

Later both girls said they were going out to see some things... that they’d be right back. They went in Isabelle’s Honda Accord, leaving the sadist behind. After I watched the happy duo leave, I went and sat in the sitting room, reckoning it would be uncouth to leave Lillian all alone. But I resolved not to say the first word. That was probably her game too. Nay, that was her way – her life. We just sat there, far apart, not saying anything to each other.

She then stood up and walked to the kitchen. I felt she knew her way so I didn’t say anything to her. And it was good riddance to bad rubbish, anyway. I just sat wondering what she was doing there... if she was hungry or something. I was too. Fixing lunch had been up to me, because Abbey couldn’t wait to leave the house in the morning that she made no meal arrangements as usual. I’d passed up lunch. And now, it wasn’t quite time for dinner; and with Abbey gallivanting around town with Isabelle, she mightn’t even remember we needed to eat in this house. If Lillian was up to preparing some food I didn’t mind; I just hoped she’d be kind enough to share. Remembering the fried rice at their place I knew that, in the kitchen, she had the Midas touch. I heard some sounds... the refrigerator door opening, and then slamming, moving utensils, clicking glasses... and then I heard the shattering of glass and a loud scream. I rushed. Poor Miss Lillian had filled two glasses with juice – perhaps for her and Zuma – and had spilled one. Now the kitchen floor was smeared with a funny mixture of colours: glass particles like diamonds here and there in the yellow juice, and Lillian’s blood... looking like more blood than juice spilled. The poor girl was crouched in a corner feigning strength.

                “What happened?” I asked with visible concern as I went to lift her up.

When I touched her she cringed and I left her a little distance from the ground and she slammed her pretty butt on the tiled floor. I went to get a mop to clean up the mess. I got her some tissue paper to wrap the bleeding finger with; and offered her as many sorries as I could. But I wasn’t going to touch her again. She slowly dabbed the finger with the tissue and, from where I stood, I saw that the cut was quite deep.

I brought the salt shake and gave it to her to sprinkle some salt on the surface but she turned it down.

She stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

I thought... I’d never seen a human being like this before. I continued to mop the floor, and when I finished I went back to my seat in the living room. Then she emerged from the utility room with a First Aid Box and came and sat on the rug in front of me, still mute. She opened the box and brought out a bottle of Milton and handed it to me with, somewhat, trembling hands, and she was looking softly into my eyes. I took the bottle, and got some cotton wool too and readied to get to work.

                “If I hadn’t heard you speak before, Lily, I’d think you’re dumb.”

I dabbed the finger with the spirit and she shrieked in pain, with the concomitant grimace – and she was still extremely beautiful.

                “Sorry girl... But I’m glad you’re aware it’s for your own good.”

After sterilizing the cut with the spirit, I wrapped the finger with a plaster and said,

                “To make it heal quicker...” I was lifting the finger up to my mouth to kiss it when she pulled it away.

The look on her face confused me. It was the countenance of a scared girl.

“Well, you’re all fixed girlie!” I announced.

I put everything back in the box and she covered it and took it away.

                “By the way, Lillian, the lucky glass of juice’s still waiting for you... Were you gonna drink two glasses?”

She ignored me and proceeded to replace the box from where she took it. I refocused on the TV, and then I saw her pass to the kitchen. In a short while she emerged with two glasses of juice in a tray, walking with exaggerated care. She dropped the tray on the centre table and brought me a glass. I felt that meant I had to take it, so I took it from her and just watched. She took the other one and went and sat down and began to sip.

I reckoned all wasn’t well with this girl... this intriguing damsel... Too much beauty for one woman alone! A question wanted to push my lips apart and jump out, but a hunch told me to calculate... to think before I spoke. Now I decided I’d say the exact opposites of what impulse nudged me to say. Like... the first thing I wanted to say was ‘Are you alright Lillian?’ but instead I said,

                “This is quite thoughtful of you, miss. Thanks a bunch...”

I saw a ray of smile flicker across her face and knew my improvised strategy wrought wonders. So, now, where I wanted to say ‘Don’t you talk?’ I said,

                “...And I’m fascinated by your silent goodness... your silent thoughtfulness... Without being told, without a dialogue, you read the mind and know what to do. That’s amazing. But I wish you could share with me ... the beauty of your voice.”

She didn’t conceal the smile now. She let me see it – all of it – the beauty and glow of it. She let it intoxicate me like Abbey’s champagne yesterday.

                Zuma had to get the gate, because a Honda Accord wanted to come in. Lillian had already cleared our juice glasses. And the silence seemed like we’d been waiting for Abbey and Isabelle to come and rescue us from the boredom of each other. They came in conversing animatedly, probably about what they’d gone out to see. They argued for a while about colour choices, and then it was time for the sisters to go home. Then the final hush hush wishes and kisses of parting friends ensued after which both girls left.

Lillian spoke to Abbey... and to her sister... why wouldn’t she speak to me?

 I wondered.

LABYRINTHS - EIGHTEEN

                I called Isabelle and she said she was at a printing press trying to produce copies of something she designed on her lap top.

                “Belle, is that more important than that your friend is back from the hospital? Don’t you have a heart?”

                “I told you I will see her. I will. Why don’t you just trust me!”

                “You know what?”

                “What?”

                “If you ask me to trust you I will.”

                “Really, honey?”

                “Yup!”

                “Then trust me.”

                “Then I do. I do trust you... I only hope you know what you’re doing.” I cut the call.

One more call before I hand the phone back to the owner. I hid the number and I dialled Nigeria.

The call connected and I looked at the door of my room to confirm that it was securely closed... and that no one could hear.

                “Hello?” came the voice from Nigeria.

                “Hi Sister, it’s Jude.”

                “I know it’s you... Did you run away?”

                “How can you ask me that... why would I want to run away... run away from what... for what?”

She paused to take it all in. “To escape your responsibilities, of course!”

                “Sister there’s no need for you to talk to me that way.”

                “Sure ‘bout that? Jude are you sure about that! I’ve been trying to reach you for God knows how long now. I’ve borne all these troubles all alone and you tell me that I have no right to talk to you this way?” She sounded hurt.

                “I didn’t say you have no right to talk to me... I said there was no need...”

                “Where have you been?” she cut me.

I dared not say I was out of the country.

                “At work.”

                “At work? That you couldn’t keep in touch... when you know your number is switched off?”

                “Teresa... I’m terribly sorry... but... but... you know I’m working hard so everything will be alright. I just can never thank you enough for having been there for me all these years.”

We both started to cry.

                “Jude?”

                “Yes?”

Silence...

                “When I tried to call some weeks back and couldn’t reach you it wasn’t to ask you for money. I realized that I’ve never told you how brave you’ve been... how strong... and how so very proud of you I am. I realized I’ve never really commended your being there all these years...”

                “C’mon Teres... don’t talk like I’m any better than you... like I’m as good as you are even. Of course this is my responsibility, but you, you have nothing to do with this... you could easily walk away now and no one will blame you; you will even be commended for holding on for five years; five long, hard years. Teres... your personality is... sublime, your humanity enchanting. I could never thank you enough, never...”

                “Stop it Jude. Don’t count me out like that. Don’t push me away... don’t exclude me like that. I’m here because I want to be, and I’m as much an intrinsic part of this as you are. It’s in giving meaning to this that I give meaning to myself... my existence. Doing this fulfils me... And many times I think that I want to do this for as long as I may live. To do this with you... together... in an enabling environment... “

                “Teres!” I wanted to speak....

                “Don’t shout me down, for I blaspheme not!” she yelled. “I’m only just confiding in you what thoughts invade the sincerity of my mind. I have no evil intentions, but at a workshop a long time ago when I started out on this journey, we watched The Sound of Music and were enjoined to search our souls to determine what our true callings may be. In the face of a cruel world it’s easy to wake up and decide that you want to live a celibate life forever, but when you see the best and brightest radiance of humanity on display in one man against... the… the… dome of darkness of the masses, you may re-think your decision. Without a man like you in this world I wouldn’t even be thinking these thoughts. But I know God has a purpose for everything, perhaps, even for the trying circumstances under which we met. I’m neither saying nor suggesting anything to you, Jude, I just thought I might... applaud your beautiful commitment to your responsibilities. I hope you know that men like you, if they exist, are so rare...

But don’t let what I’ve said add to your present worries, okay. It’s all your call; it’s always been and will always be. And I know you’re wise... I know you’ll choose what’s best for you both... I just thought I might bring this to your notice though, before you start thinking who the mother of your children might be. I want to make sure you consider all the options open to you.”

                “Teres... I’m short of words.” I really was. “I appreciate everything you’ve said... everything you’ve done... you’re just... magical. And I will always thank you no matter what you say...” I paused for a while, then “How is he?”

                “Like I said, when I tried last time to reach you it was to tell you all these. But now I need to tell you that we need money. He’s in the hospital...”

                “What?! What’s wrong with him?”

                “Please calm down. It’s probably simple malaria or something... but we need money to know for certain... and to treat it.”

                “Know what, Teres, just try and do what you can please... aight. I’ll come down next week with some money...”

                “Can’t you send through the bank... as usual?”

                “I’m afraid, no.”

                “Why? You’re broke?”

                “Um... I’m not in the country right now.”

                “What... you’re not... where are you?”

                “I’m in South Africa... Look, work brought me here, but I’ll come down to Enugu next week to see you guys. I can’t go sending money from a bank here because my visa’s already expired.”

                “...Means you’ve been there for long?”

                “Erm... two months... roughly.”

                “You’ve been away for two months, and you never bothered to...”

                “Teresa please, I beg you, don’t start. Please. I beg you in the name of God. I’m sorry but I’ll explain everything to you when I come. Please.”

Teresa could be really impulsive.

                “Okay. But, tell me, what kinda work are you doing in South Africa?”

                “Erm... erm... I came here to volunteer... to volunteer for the World Cup...”

                “Volunteer for the World Cup?” Sounded like she didn’t believe me.

                “Yes Teres... I promise to tell you all about it when I return.”

                “Okay...” She mellowed acquiescingly.

                “Will you do what you can for him until I return?”

                “You know I will. Always.”

                “Thank you so much, Teres... May God Almighty never cease to bless you.”

                “Amen. And you too.”

                “I gotta go now, please give him my regards. And tell Sister Adaora that I said hi.”

                “Alright, I will. Jude?”       

                “Yeah?”

                “Take care of yourself, okay!”

                “I will. Bye!”

                “Bye dear.” She cut the call.

                ???

                I edited the call register deleting all my calls. Then I went to meet Abbey in her room and told her of all the people that called when she was... incommunicado.

I gave her back her phone... and her wallet, and told her that whatever money was missing was fuel money for all the hospital runs. And that was the truth. She’d probably brought that money for me, but I didn’t need to take it without being given.

I stayed for a while and we talked, and then I went out for a walk.

                At the gate I said to Zuma,

                “I told her how helpful you were, and she really appreciates. I’m sure she’ll tell you that herself or... or show you. Meanwhile, have this... for all your help.”

I squared the guy some... reasonable Rands. He was appreciative of the gesture, in a way that he couldn’t speak perhaps. Or maybe he didn’t completely understand me.

I walked through the gate. I needed the walk and air like an addict needs drugs. I needed to think about everything... put them all in perspective and knock them off one after the other. The conversation with Sister Teresa was a new development, but I couldn’t say it was strange. I hoped I was still going to live up to seventy... or eighty, because I wondered why the whole events of my life wanted to take place right now – as if there was no time.

LABYRINTHS - SEVENTEEN

                I agree that crying does have therapeutic effects. It relieves the soul... and envelopes one in a soothing half awareness that all injustice shall perforce be redressed, if not here then somewhere else. Like when we were kids and were bullied by our elder siblings, we cried and cried until our parents came home. Even if there were no more tears we kept going, because if daddy didn’t meet you crying you cried in vain. In this particular grown-up case, you’re aware that God is watching. Somehow I found renewed strength and I stood up and boisterously prepared to return to the hospital. One step at a time was my resolution; with one step at a time, I shall retrace my steps home.

                I would have called the hospital to know how far but I didn’t have Biola’s number, yet. And I didn’t want to call anyone to ask for it. Going through Abbey’s phonebook there was no Biola, though I knew Abbey must have the number. I saw nicknames that seemed like they’d be hers but I didn’t want to call the wrong person. I really wanted to find out if I should bring lunch. I decided that, if it was needed, I’d come back for it.

                There were a number of gas stations on the way to the hospital, I had to patronize one. I plotted my course and arrived at the hospital in less than thirty minutes.

Just outside the door to Abbey’s ward I couldn’t help listening to hear . . .

                “. . . He’s . . . he’s magical. More than ever... I want to live now, Bee... I want to stay alive...” Abbey’s voice.

                “Is he staying long?” Biola’s.

                “I’m gonna have to ask him... beg him if need be. He could relocate... he could... get a job here.”

                “You sure you want to do that?”

                “Anything wrong with it?”

It was ill breeding to be eavesdropping like that, so I withdrew and came noisily now to give the women the impression that I was just arriving and hadn’t been lingering at the door. I knocked, and opened, and people who were doctor and patient in reality, to me, were two women I... liked.

                “Hi,” I said, looking from one to the other.

                “Hello Iroko!” Biola.

Abbey just lay there, wearing an animated smile.

Biola was sitting on her bed, and my chair was vacant. Walking to it I said,

                “Are we still residents in this... this... hotel?”

                Biola chuckled. “Only for today.”

                “Only for today... means the whole of today? Again?”

                “Not the whole of today,” she said, still smiling, “She should be able to leave by dusk.”

                “That’s the greatest piece of news I’ve heard in a long time.”

I sat down and took Abbey’s arm. “How are you, baby?”

                “I’m fine,” she said emotively. “And I’m sorry to have been so much trouble.”

                “Oh no, c’mon... I can’t think of anything that will give me greater pleasure... than being there for you.”

                “Awwh... that’s so sweet...”

                “Um...” Biola cleared her throat, “Lemme leave you two to... catch up. Abigail, I should be ready to set you free soon.”

                “Okay. Thank you so much Bee,” Abbey said.

I said it! On Abbey’s phone I saw Doc Bee and said this must be Biola’s number.

                “Come to think of it... I’ve never even thought of the fact that your Abbey’s actually short for Abigail.”

                “Serious?” Abbey giggled.

                “Serious,” I affirmed.

                “See you chaps later,” Biola excused herself.

                “So... what’s up? How do ya feel?” I said.

                “I feel like crying.”

                “Crying? What... tears of joy?” I asked.

                “Nada... of pain... I don’t think I can help it when we get home. A lot will depend on you.”

                “Erm... could you be more explicit?”

                “Not now dear. What’s been going on? Has Isabelle really been here to see me?”

                “Of course! And I’m even expecting her to show up any minute.”

                “Does she know I’m awake?”

                “She does.”

                “Then she won’t come.”

                “Why... why do you say that?”

                “Remember we had a fight?”

                “What fight... that commotion of over a century ago?”

                “Whether it’s a millennium or not, apologies haven’t been tendered, so the cold war’s not over.”

                “Are you kidding me?”

                “I’m serious... we’re girls, remember! If it were you guys you’d forget it sooner, not us.”

                “That’s... amazing. So what happens now? She could come here to apologise?”

                “Not the Isabelle I know.”

                “You mean... sickness doesn’t wipe the animosity away?”

                “Isabelle’s gon reconcile with me in her own... special way. I wonder what it would be this time.”

                “So you guys always fight?”

                “Yes dear... It’s the spice of our friendship. She’s like... all I’ve got.”

                “But you have a brother!”

                “Him? I don’t even know if... when... when I’ll see him again.”

                “Don’t you have his... contact... his number or something?”

                “I don’t. He has mine, but hardly uses it.”

                “So Isabelle’s the closest person to you?”

                “Yeah... but it’s a bit scary now that you’re the subject of our tussle... the other day.”

                “Me? How?”       

                “Before now we fought over things we could both let go... for the sake of our friendship. One person left it for the other and, to reciprocate the gesture, the other left it too.”

                “Wow. I don’t exactly fit into that... that... those shoes...”

                “I’m so hungry,” she said, changing the subject.

                “Really? And I thought about bringing you lunch o.”

                “You made lunch?”

                “I would have... Come to think of it, you’ve been without food all these days? How is it you survived?”

                “Don’t you know anything?” she teased, “How can one survive without food?”

                “But you never woke up... not to talk of eat?”

                “Didn’t you see me wearing a mask-like... thing?”

                “Yeah, for oxygen!”

                “There’s the one for feeding, duh!”

                “Really?”

                “Mhmm, it’s called Nasogastric tube... in some way I was being fed via it.”

                “Amazing!”

                “Yeah. You’ve learnt something new today, huh! Stick wimme, you’ll learn a thing or too.” She chuckled.

                “Oh... you’re well enough to make humour abi? And to rap!”

                “How do you know I was rapping?”

                “How won’t I know, isn’t she my ... country girl? She’s even from my state.”

                “Kel’s from your state?”

                “Sure thang!”

                “That’s nice. Shee good!”

Silence.

                “You know, I’mma go find out if Biola could... maybe speed things up so we could leave.”

                “You can’t wait to get me home, right?”

                “You’re damn right I can’t.”

                “So you can bombard me with all the... questions in your head?”

                “Well... it’s true that I’ve got questions...”

                “Please Iroko, try to go easy on me... talking about this nauseates me. I know we’re gonna have to talk about it... but lemme be the one to bring it up... you know... when I’m strong enough to take on it?”

I was staring at her.

                “Abbey... just that we have no time... My ejection time...” I swallowed hard, “is come.”

Silence now... and stretching... until Biola comes in.

                “Excuse me... Abigail... the Chief’s here,” Biola said.

                “Okay, gimme a minute please.”

Biola leaves.

                “Iroko a chief is here to see me... could you wait in the reception?”

                “What chief’s that? Your colleague?”

                “A Chief Consultant. A gynaecologist. A prof.”

                “Oh, it’s your... chief... that got me confused. Okay then, I’ll see you soon.”

                “Sure...” she said, then added “darling.”

I stared at her for a while before leaving.

                At the reception I called Isabelle. She said something came up; that she mightn’t be able to make it to the hospital. She asked how Abbey was and I told her she was fine... that we might be going home today.

                Then I called Fina to say everything was progressing beautifully... that we might leave today before her shift... that if I forgot to call her when we did, this was to thank her immensely for all her kind help. She said it was her job. And I said she sure had a special way of doing it... of making everybody feel special. She suggested that even after the hospital episode I should still keep in touch. I will.

After the calls I sat gazing at the ceiling... knowing that my World Cup must end soon. If Abbey had any ideas... any suggestions... who said she couldn’t come to Nigeria! Or who said I couldn’t return to South Africa... later? Isabelle... well... Biola? Meet me at home! Fina, once I have a phone I’ll give you my number... and probably find out if you’re on the... network... too, so we could keep in touch. What else? Who else? I was ready to go home. And soon too.

                Chief is done.

Biola comes out.

Abbey’s discharged...

Everything blurs to this moment at home... at Abbey’s dining table. She’d gone to the fridge and brought out a bottle of champagne and popped it. I’d never even seen a champagne bottle before.

                “Abbey, is it advisable to start drinking just within hours of your discharge from the hospital?” I said.

                “Who cares...! I’m celebrating life... survival... I always keep one of these for times like this...” She was gazing into space and looking really distant. “You said you gotta go, so it’s not your business anymore whatever I do.”

She done talked herself into tears now, and she fell on the table and cried miserably for what I didn’t know.

I smooched and soother her, begging her even... to stop crying.

                “...Eyes filled with tears you can’t see what joys lie ahead. Stop it already, Abbey.”

                “Could you stay?” She looked up at me all of a sudden; “but not as my shrink anymore? Could you?”

                “As what, ma’am?”

                “As a friend... a lover... could you?”

                “That’s a whole new world... Are you in love with me?”

                “Miserably!” she said curtly.

                “Oh...” I was confused. “Erm... why didn’t you tell me when this was forming... so I’d be ware?”

                “’Cuz I liked it... Something about you the very day I met you held me hostage. I knew there was something we had to share. You look and feel very... familiar. These two weeks have been my best days in my twenty-nine years on this planet. It makes me want to live out my days, however few they may be... with you. It makes me hate my plight...”

                “What do you mean by all these?”

                “The ward where I was...? It’s like... mine... in that hospital. The chief had told me some time ago that it is likely going to be the room I die in. I’ve been there several times already in the last two years or so...”

                “But if you have... seizures... why do you stay alone? What if there’s an episode and there’s no one to help?”

                “I’ve had several people live with me. Whenever it happened like this, and the guys learnt about my health condition, they beat it. The last one eloped with my maid. Then Isabelle and I always had disputes over men and stuff. We couldn’t last very long under the same roof... but we do fine living apart. Sasha and Tanya have lived with me at different times. And then, my best company, Isabelle’s sister...”

                “Isabelle’s sister? She has a sister?”

                “Yeah... Lillian... But she and Sasha and Tanya are in school, so they can’t always be available.”

                “Now me... I’ve been added to the list, right?” I said.

                “...And, like never before, I wish you could stay with me till the end,” she said with teary eyes. “You’re my best.”

                “C’mon... don’t talk like that baby... you ain’t dying; don’t talk about the end like it’s just around the corner... Of course you’ll always get help.”

                “Will you always be my help?”

                “What’s the name of the... thing ... you’ve got?” I said, avoiding her question.

                “It’s a mouthful. It’s new they say. Rare... And it’s aggravated or... provoked rather... by excitement and high pitched, extreme emotions... especially those of a sexual nature.”

                “What... hold on, sex is... bad for you?”

                “That’s what chief told me. Said I should try and keep away from it. Or, if I couldn’t, I should have it with strangers and gigolos... those for whom I feel no emotional tension or excitement.”

I fought in vain to hold back mirth. And she laughed too, to my surprise.

                “Okay... so you’ve been doing that... and... um... sex with me wasn’t really harmful, right?”

                “Go away!” she rebuked me. Then she said “Iroko, I might have known you for only a short while, but you’re not a stranger to me. I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life the way I love you...”

                “Is that right?”

                “More than you can ever know.”

                “Then why didn’t you tell me? Why did you risk your life having sex with me?”

                “Because... I couldn’t hold back... The fire you ignited in me was too much to douse... that I didn’t mind if I died in your arms...”

                “And get me into trouble in South Africa...? Are you outta your fricking mind?!”

                “Oh dear, please don’t yell at me,” she sobbed, “I’m miserable enough as it is.”

                “...Now, isn’t misery an extreme emotion...? Aren’t you at risk?”

                “I can’t die before I die... I have to live my life until the end. God! I’m so scared...”

                “It is scary indeed. It is scary... Abbey,” I concurred. “Have you been abroad to... find a cure?”

                “The chief was my dad’s friend, and we met in the US. He practiced in a top level in the States for years before returning home. He did refer me to a former colleague of his, and I went, but what they saw there is what the chief had seen here... And his prognosis was even more valid and nerve-calming than theirs. Doctor Henry had suggested I stayed back in the States so he could monitor me but, for friendship’s sake, chief told me they simply wanted to use me as a specimen for their ambitious researches into the condition. He said I stood a better chance here at home... in the company of friends and loved ones.

Iroko?” she called me as if I hadn’t been listening.

                “Yeah,” I said with a throat that needed clearing.

                “The chief said love may prolong my life. Initially I didn’t believe him... But I do now. I love you Iroko, please stay with me.” She sobbed on plaintively.

                “Has it ever occurred to you Abbey girl, that... I might have a life at home? That I might have a home that needs going back to? I told you I came for the World Cup and got stuck under some circumstances... it doesn’t mean I’m here to stay. I have parents, siblings, friends... and I... I... have people who depend on me. There are people I need to be around for...”

                “And what you’re simply doing now is drawing a scale of preference, right?”

                “Don’t say that to me, Abbey. Don’t you say that to me! I care about you... and I told you so, but I’m from a real world; one not as privileged as yours.”

                “You call this... privilege? You call my proximity to the grave privilege?”

                “Erm... I didn’t mean it in that way. I’m just trying to say that we have to work out our bread every day. It isn’t stacked or piled up somewhere... like here. Every day we hit the streets... to pay our bills and take care of our loved ones. And, as you know, I didn’t come here with the intention of having fun. The money I’m working for has plenty uses waiting for it. I called home the other day, and my mom is worried sick... that my job could already be somebody else’s by now.

Abbey dear, your bosom, and indeed your plight, is drawing, but I need to go home and take care of those who took care of me. It’s the way of the world, and I don’t want to disappoint Nature; I don’t want to incur her wrath.”

                “Your story’s touching too, and I understand that you must go... but nothing will ever make me agree that it’s okay for you to leave me. So what... so I could die? I have to fight to stay alive, even though the odds are stacked high against me, I have to fight on. And if I see that my life is entwined with you I will cling on to you even against your wish, as I now do.”

                “Girl you making me sound like I’m a big, bad, wicked wolf... And who says you can’t come to Nigeria, anyway?”

                “Erm...,” she was startled by this new dimension... this new possibility, “erm... come visit or come live?”

                “The latter.”

                “Erm... well, I can’t work out a pension plan just yet... But it’s men that travel abroad to work. You can work here; earn good money and send back home... How ‘bout that?”

                “Well, that’s an angle... a vital angle. But whatever the case, you know I have to get home first. I don’t even have a resident visa... as it is I’m in this country illegally, and I could get into serious trouble...”

                “That can be fixed,” she said.

                “I know that, but I have to get home first. I have to return from the World Cup and, if I set out again, I’d say I’m travelling abroad... to work.”

She was looking at me with near swollen eyes, a smile under her tears. And it was like the scenario of a confused weather – showers of rain, and sunshine at the same time... then a faint rainbow at the top, left corner of the page. Her face wore the stillness of a morning after heavy rains, washed, serene, and green.

                “C’mon Abbey, cheer up. Life is beautiful... even up till the very minute before death. Have fun, be at peace with everyone. Be at peace with your soul. Be at peace with your maker; ask him to wave this ordeal away from you. He can do it if you ask him well.”

                “Will you help me ask him?” she said softly.

                “As a matter of fact, right now.”

I took her hands, and we did something we’d never done together before. We prayed.